I don't pray for things. For those of you who do, I commend you. Prayer is hard. It's hard to ask for something from someone you can't see or hear and just trust that it will happen. I have a different method, and so far it's been working.
I operate by the "it's not what you know, but who you know" method. If I don't know something, I'm sure I know someone who will know it. I don't ask for help. I put my problem out there, and people help who know what they are doing. And they do this because, I have real friends.
I may neglect some of you far more than I should. But in a pinch, I promise I will come through. I work best under pressure anyway. But in the past few weeks, I have learned how many true friends I really do have. I have friends willing to help me in all parts of this book process. I have friends willing to go out and buy it even though none of you know what it's about yet. LOL
I have friends who are willing to lend an ear to help me talk it out if I need it. I have friends who are willing to listen to me bitch. I have friends who are willing to bitch with me.
I have a truly wonderful group of people in my life. Someone I haven't seen in more than half my life offered to help me out last night. Not only was I excited enough to do a little happy dance when I got her message, it made me truly proud to be from where I came from.
Growing up on a little tiny hidden military base made for some really boring times. You only had the friends who lived on the base with you to entertain you. And there honestly weren't many of us. But, the people who were there became lifetime friends. I am still friends with a few who have found me, or I've found them, over the internet the past few years. There are still some I wish I could find and still cross my mind occasionally.
I have the most overwhelmingly wonderful people I can call my own.
I still however have not found a single person willing to watch my kids so Dad and I can have an hour alone to talk without screaming overtop of children. Funny how that works isn't it?
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Saturday, March 22, 2014
The book
I think I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go with this writing a book idea. I want to write a book my kids will read and enjoy. I know, sounds a lot like J.K. Rowling, but she had the right idea.
I've been thinking, and "brainstorming" and I am fairly confident I can do this. From everything I've read, once you write a chapter or two is when you should send it in to publishers. My goal is to submit my book idea to publishers by summer.
BUT FIRST, I need some friends who would be willing to proofread and basically be my "editors". I want people to read it and tell me what they think. Does it flow like it should? It is easy enough to follow that kids in middle school would read it? It's not going to be a baby book. It's going to be something kids and adults will both read. At least that's the plan anyway.
I am going to start putting it on paper here shortly. I need to before I lose everything I have in my head. Things don't stay in there very long anymore. I blame that on my children.
If you're interested in being involved in this, I will be happy to include you in the list of people I let read this. You have to be someone I can trust to not steal it as your own. You know, even friends can be shady sometimes. HAHA.
I have a few more discussions to have with people, but I know someone I want to do some illustrations as well. I want a few well placed illustrations throughout the book. And cover art! But I have to give her something to work with first. So all in good time, I guess.
I'm a bit nervous about this. It's a big thing to commit to. And it's something that is open to a lot of criticism. I don't handle criticism well. I guess I have to work on that too.
My head hurts just thinking about it.
I've been thinking, and "brainstorming" and I am fairly confident I can do this. From everything I've read, once you write a chapter or two is when you should send it in to publishers. My goal is to submit my book idea to publishers by summer.
BUT FIRST, I need some friends who would be willing to proofread and basically be my "editors". I want people to read it and tell me what they think. Does it flow like it should? It is easy enough to follow that kids in middle school would read it? It's not going to be a baby book. It's going to be something kids and adults will both read. At least that's the plan anyway.
I am going to start putting it on paper here shortly. I need to before I lose everything I have in my head. Things don't stay in there very long anymore. I blame that on my children.
If you're interested in being involved in this, I will be happy to include you in the list of people I let read this. You have to be someone I can trust to not steal it as your own. You know, even friends can be shady sometimes. HAHA.
I have a few more discussions to have with people, but I know someone I want to do some illustrations as well. I want a few well placed illustrations throughout the book. And cover art! But I have to give her something to work with first. So all in good time, I guess.
I'm a bit nervous about this. It's a big thing to commit to. And it's something that is open to a lot of criticism. I don't handle criticism well. I guess I have to work on that too.
My head hurts just thinking about it.
Friday, March 21, 2014
I want them to know
My last post got my wheels turning. I apologize this wasn't out quite so quickly but it was a difficult one for me to write. It took me a bit of time.
I thought, you know, I want my kids to know that religion isn't just about going to church. But what else do I want them to know? Here's my list of things I want my children to know as they get older. I'm going to write it specifically to them because I hope one day to sit them down and let them read it all for themselves.
1) What you want and what you need are different: This is especially important when you become an adult. I know you WANT the newest game or the coolest shoes or whatever "Jimmy" down the road has. But you don't NEED it. When you get older and have children and a wife (it will happen, but I'm hoping it doesn't happen until I'm dead), this will be something your wife and children will thank me for. No one wants to marry a man who is constantly spending money on the cool things in life, but can't afford to pay his water bill. Trust me. Because when your wife throws you out for that, you can not come live in my basement.
2) Importance is important: This goes in all ways. It's important to remember that you don't like being made to feel less important than anyone else. Please don't make other people feel that way. That guy who wears pants that are too short in your Biology class may just be dealing with not having new clothes so his mom can pay for her cancer treatments. That girl in lunch who always brings a bagged lunch and never gets pizza from the cafeteria may be packing her own lunch because her mom works two jobs and still can't afford lunch. Be the guy that doesn't judge without knowing why someone is the way they are. If I ever hear you making fun of someone for what they wear, I will go shopping at the thrift store for the most ridiculous things I can find and you will wear it every day for a week. And you better believe I'm mean enough to make that happen.
3) Equality is important: Men and women are not set in these gender roles. Hopefully by the time you get older that's no longer the case. But I feel it still will be. For God's sake, don't leave your wife to do all the cooking and cleaning. Your arms aren't broken (at least not at the time I'm writing this) and you both have functioning legs. Clean something. Cook something. Fold some laundry. Be helpful. Your wife will go to work. And that's how it should be. Equality. Remember that. It will save you a lot of arguments in your life if you realize relationships work only if you contribute the same as you expect the other to contribute. And if you remember, you can not live in my basement when she throws you out for being a sloppy pig.
4) Life isn't fair: It never has been, it never will be. My job is to make sure you get what you should have. But I can't promise to get you everything you think you deserve. Kids may get trophies now just for playing, but you will learn that sometimes you lose and you get nothing. Not everyone can be a winner. I will teach you how to become a winner, but what you do with it from there is your own decision. I will not praise you for doing what you should be doing. Homework is a part of life. An unfair part, sure. I remember that. But do it anyway. And stop bitching about it (because I know both of you will). Bitching does not make it go any faster. Or make it any less unfair. I will also teach you how to be a loser. Because nothing is worse than someone who thinks they should win, and whines when they don't. I will beat you at card games sometimes. I will wipe your ass at basketball. And you will learn that losing doesn't mean the end of the world.
5) Your job is not your life: Your job is a way for you to be able to pay to have a life. It is not your life. Took me a long time to realize this one myself, so let me help you out. If all you ever do is work, you will miss out on life. And life is pretty damn amazing sometimes. Taking a day to do nothing but play with your kids can provide for some awesome stories. So don't always take the overtime. Don't always let your wife be the one handle the kids. Don't let your roommates be people you just see in passing. Take time to enjoy the life you have instead of working it all away. The man who dies with the most money is still dead. Don't go broke enjoying it, but remember to do something fun sometimes. Fun things don't always cost money. Go to a museum. Take your kids there. Go see a baseball game. Take a picnic to the park. Just don't let your kids always see you at work. It's depressing.
6) Family comes first: I wiped your little asses when you were babies. I expect the same treatment. I will one day be taking care of my parents, and you will watch that, and help with that. You will learn that you ALWAYS put your family first. If someone in the family needs your help, you go do it. It's what family does. And you, my boys, have an awesome family. Don't jeopardize that because you want to play video games all day and don't want to help your grandparents mow their lawn. They did a lot for you, it will someday be time to pay it back. And your Ya-Ya is a master at asking you to do things and not giving you time to say no. Get used to that, and just plan on doing what she asks. And by the time you're old enough to read this, she will have taught me how to do it as well.
7) Volunteer: I don't care what you volunteer for. Help the homeless. Become firefighters. Work in a cat shelter. It doesn't matter what you pick, but do something completely unselfish for no reason other than you have the ability to. It's humbling. It reminds you your life is not as bad as you thought it was yesterday. And there is no shame in helping other people. No one has ever had someone make fun of them for being the one that jumps in to help when they are getting nothing out of it. And never take money for volunteering. Ever. It's tacky. You do it because your mother said so. I promise, someday you will walk out of wherever you pick to volunteer and you'll understand what I mean. It will happen. If you ever need help thinking of something to do, come ask me. But I think you will enjoy firefighting and EMS. It runs in the family.
8) Men can cry: I know that society wants you to think that men are strong and don't cry and don't show emotions. Yes, they do. If the only person who ever sees it is family, that's fine. But don't play strong when you really just need to cry and let it out. You are always welcome to come home and cry to me. I will always be there to listen. If a girl breaks your heart, cry about it. Don't let it make you treat the rest of the women in your life like crap. If you lose a job and you loved it, cry about it. It will encourage you to look for a better one if you let it hurt for just a little bit. Life is supposed to hurt sometimes. If it doesn't, you aren't doing it right. And if it hurts too much, you aren't doing it right either. If you can't figure out the balance, ask your father. I can't figure it out sometimes myself.
9) Be nice to your damn brother: I know you drive each other crazy sometimes. I know that it will get worse as you get older. But someday, you will need your brother's help. Homework, fixing a car, moving furniture, taking care of your mother. Something will happen where you need each other. Don't make it an impossible relationship. You two will always need to be each other's rocks. Be friends. Or fake being friends for my benefit until you figure out how to really do it. And make each other the best men in each other's weddings. If you don't, I will not help pay for anything wedding related. And when you two actually do become real friends later in life, please tell me about it. After all the years of fighting, I'll be waiting for some good news about the two of you. And don't share women. Ever.
10) Just be you: Whatever people think you need to be, don't listen. If you absolutely have to have a Mohawk, do it. If you absolutely need to have a tattoo, do it (but only after you turn 18 and you pay for it by yourself). Don't let people criticize you for being you. Dye your hair weird colors. Pick a sport you love, even if people think it's dumb. Wear whatever you want. People will be less likely to notice your lime green Mohawk if you're a total gentleman. And if they don't talk to you because your weird, screw them. I was weird too and I lived. I still am weird. And as long as it's an okay weird, I'll be behind you. Don't lick windows or eat bugs or stick your tongue up your nose. Because then I will make fun of you too.
Life isn't so serious. At least it shouldn't be. Laugh at things. And if you can't, find someone who can that will remind you to stop being so serious. If you feel like dancing, then dance. Who cares if you're at the grocery store? Your kids will, but do it anyway. Sing if you're happy. The happier you are, the happier the people around you will be. And if you aren't happy, fake it. No one wants to be around a miserable person all the time.
Not all of us can do this every day. Some days life is just too damn hard to follow the rules. You hide, and you're mean and that's that. But don't let that become the every day you. If you have a bad day, have a bad day. But don't turn it into a bad year.
I love you. Your dad loves you. Your grandparents love you. And we all always will. That won't change. Remember that when we yell at you for not doing the things I listed above. HA
I thought, you know, I want my kids to know that religion isn't just about going to church. But what else do I want them to know? Here's my list of things I want my children to know as they get older. I'm going to write it specifically to them because I hope one day to sit them down and let them read it all for themselves.
1) What you want and what you need are different: This is especially important when you become an adult. I know you WANT the newest game or the coolest shoes or whatever "Jimmy" down the road has. But you don't NEED it. When you get older and have children and a wife (it will happen, but I'm hoping it doesn't happen until I'm dead), this will be something your wife and children will thank me for. No one wants to marry a man who is constantly spending money on the cool things in life, but can't afford to pay his water bill. Trust me. Because when your wife throws you out for that, you can not come live in my basement.
2) Importance is important: This goes in all ways. It's important to remember that you don't like being made to feel less important than anyone else. Please don't make other people feel that way. That guy who wears pants that are too short in your Biology class may just be dealing with not having new clothes so his mom can pay for her cancer treatments. That girl in lunch who always brings a bagged lunch and never gets pizza from the cafeteria may be packing her own lunch because her mom works two jobs and still can't afford lunch. Be the guy that doesn't judge without knowing why someone is the way they are. If I ever hear you making fun of someone for what they wear, I will go shopping at the thrift store for the most ridiculous things I can find and you will wear it every day for a week. And you better believe I'm mean enough to make that happen.
3) Equality is important: Men and women are not set in these gender roles. Hopefully by the time you get older that's no longer the case. But I feel it still will be. For God's sake, don't leave your wife to do all the cooking and cleaning. Your arms aren't broken (at least not at the time I'm writing this) and you both have functioning legs. Clean something. Cook something. Fold some laundry. Be helpful. Your wife will go to work. And that's how it should be. Equality. Remember that. It will save you a lot of arguments in your life if you realize relationships work only if you contribute the same as you expect the other to contribute. And if you remember, you can not live in my basement when she throws you out for being a sloppy pig.
4) Life isn't fair: It never has been, it never will be. My job is to make sure you get what you should have. But I can't promise to get you everything you think you deserve. Kids may get trophies now just for playing, but you will learn that sometimes you lose and you get nothing. Not everyone can be a winner. I will teach you how to become a winner, but what you do with it from there is your own decision. I will not praise you for doing what you should be doing. Homework is a part of life. An unfair part, sure. I remember that. But do it anyway. And stop bitching about it (because I know both of you will). Bitching does not make it go any faster. Or make it any less unfair. I will also teach you how to be a loser. Because nothing is worse than someone who thinks they should win, and whines when they don't. I will beat you at card games sometimes. I will wipe your ass at basketball. And you will learn that losing doesn't mean the end of the world.
5) Your job is not your life: Your job is a way for you to be able to pay to have a life. It is not your life. Took me a long time to realize this one myself, so let me help you out. If all you ever do is work, you will miss out on life. And life is pretty damn amazing sometimes. Taking a day to do nothing but play with your kids can provide for some awesome stories. So don't always take the overtime. Don't always let your wife be the one handle the kids. Don't let your roommates be people you just see in passing. Take time to enjoy the life you have instead of working it all away. The man who dies with the most money is still dead. Don't go broke enjoying it, but remember to do something fun sometimes. Fun things don't always cost money. Go to a museum. Take your kids there. Go see a baseball game. Take a picnic to the park. Just don't let your kids always see you at work. It's depressing.
6) Family comes first: I wiped your little asses when you were babies. I expect the same treatment. I will one day be taking care of my parents, and you will watch that, and help with that. You will learn that you ALWAYS put your family first. If someone in the family needs your help, you go do it. It's what family does. And you, my boys, have an awesome family. Don't jeopardize that because you want to play video games all day and don't want to help your grandparents mow their lawn. They did a lot for you, it will someday be time to pay it back. And your Ya-Ya is a master at asking you to do things and not giving you time to say no. Get used to that, and just plan on doing what she asks. And by the time you're old enough to read this, she will have taught me how to do it as well.
7) Volunteer: I don't care what you volunteer for. Help the homeless. Become firefighters. Work in a cat shelter. It doesn't matter what you pick, but do something completely unselfish for no reason other than you have the ability to. It's humbling. It reminds you your life is not as bad as you thought it was yesterday. And there is no shame in helping other people. No one has ever had someone make fun of them for being the one that jumps in to help when they are getting nothing out of it. And never take money for volunteering. Ever. It's tacky. You do it because your mother said so. I promise, someday you will walk out of wherever you pick to volunteer and you'll understand what I mean. It will happen. If you ever need help thinking of something to do, come ask me. But I think you will enjoy firefighting and EMS. It runs in the family.
8) Men can cry: I know that society wants you to think that men are strong and don't cry and don't show emotions. Yes, they do. If the only person who ever sees it is family, that's fine. But don't play strong when you really just need to cry and let it out. You are always welcome to come home and cry to me. I will always be there to listen. If a girl breaks your heart, cry about it. Don't let it make you treat the rest of the women in your life like crap. If you lose a job and you loved it, cry about it. It will encourage you to look for a better one if you let it hurt for just a little bit. Life is supposed to hurt sometimes. If it doesn't, you aren't doing it right. And if it hurts too much, you aren't doing it right either. If you can't figure out the balance, ask your father. I can't figure it out sometimes myself.
9) Be nice to your damn brother: I know you drive each other crazy sometimes. I know that it will get worse as you get older. But someday, you will need your brother's help. Homework, fixing a car, moving furniture, taking care of your mother. Something will happen where you need each other. Don't make it an impossible relationship. You two will always need to be each other's rocks. Be friends. Or fake being friends for my benefit until you figure out how to really do it. And make each other the best men in each other's weddings. If you don't, I will not help pay for anything wedding related. And when you two actually do become real friends later in life, please tell me about it. After all the years of fighting, I'll be waiting for some good news about the two of you. And don't share women. Ever.
10) Just be you: Whatever people think you need to be, don't listen. If you absolutely have to have a Mohawk, do it. If you absolutely need to have a tattoo, do it (but only after you turn 18 and you pay for it by yourself). Don't let people criticize you for being you. Dye your hair weird colors. Pick a sport you love, even if people think it's dumb. Wear whatever you want. People will be less likely to notice your lime green Mohawk if you're a total gentleman. And if they don't talk to you because your weird, screw them. I was weird too and I lived. I still am weird. And as long as it's an okay weird, I'll be behind you. Don't lick windows or eat bugs or stick your tongue up your nose. Because then I will make fun of you too.
Life isn't so serious. At least it shouldn't be. Laugh at things. And if you can't, find someone who can that will remind you to stop being so serious. If you feel like dancing, then dance. Who cares if you're at the grocery store? Your kids will, but do it anyway. Sing if you're happy. The happier you are, the happier the people around you will be. And if you aren't happy, fake it. No one wants to be around a miserable person all the time.
Not all of us can do this every day. Some days life is just too damn hard to follow the rules. You hide, and you're mean and that's that. But don't let that become the every day you. If you have a bad day, have a bad day. But don't turn it into a bad year.
I love you. Your dad loves you. Your grandparents love you. And we all always will. That won't change. Remember that when we yell at you for not doing the things I listed above. HA
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Religion versus Living Right
Church is a point of contention with me. I don't go. I probably won't make my children go. It will be their choice. I have had discussions with them about God and Angels and Heaven. And by them I mean the big one. I could tell the little one that Jesus was really a giant gummy bear and he would just smile at me.
And the reason I don't go is a big one. I have a hard time sitting amongst people who are totally 100% devoted to their religion on Sundays, and holidays when people are watching, and all the rest of the days they live as if God is simply a word they use before 'damn'. I even have problems being friends with these people on Facebook and other social media sites.
I simply don't like knowing that you thump your bible in the presence of people who you think care, but behind closed doors you drink and fight and swear and act just like the rest of us. If you lived it 24/7 it would be a different story. Or own up to the fact that you aren't perfect in your faith. Those people who say "I go to church and I try to live right but I still drink and curse", you are honest and real. And we have no issues. No one is perfect.
It's the ones who act perfect I can't stand.
Am I perfect? Absolutely not. I curse, sometimes at people I shouldn't curse at. I gossip, sometimes way more than is healthy. And usually with my two best girl friends. We are horrid to people who have no idea we talk badly about them. I expect people do the same about me. It is what it is. But I own it.
I acknowledge that sometimes I'm a huge ass. I am proud of the fact that I'm an ass. Let's be honest, if I was nice all the time, I wouldn't be funny anymore. I am not always nice to the people who deserve it.
What I am though is real. My mother calls and asks me my opinion, because I call it like I see it. People know not to ask me what I think unless they really want to hear what is in my head. I usually start by asking "Are you SURE you want to hear what I think?" that way they have time to change their mind. Haha. Unless it's family, then you don't even have to ask. I just share.
I also learned that the best way to live is to make a difference for people who have less than you do. I'm not always the best at this. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own drama. But ask any of my family and friends and they will tell you I drag them into these things they hate to do. We have slept outside in the dead of winter in cardboard boxes to raise money for the homeless. We have rescued animals. We have held god knows how many fundraisers for non-profits who need help. We make things to donate to these non-profits. It is what we do.
I remember one Thanksgiving that stuck with me for as long as I can remember. We had a ton of left over food and nothing to do with it. We made a huge batch of soup, gathered blankets and mittens and hats and winter stuff and drove into center city DC. We spent that evening feeding homeless people from our trunk and handing out things to keep people warm. That night was what caused me to become a professional volunteer.
I intend to instill that lesson in my children. I will take them to help people who are less fortunate. I will make them realize that no matter how bad you think your life is, it could be worse. And frankly, I would rather them learn that lesson than sit and pray for things they don't need. The kids who sit and pray for an X-Box or an iPhone aren't really learning any valuable lessons, are they?
My kids will learn that if you pray, God may not always listen. There may be someone else is more desperate need and you will get only what you need, not what you want. My children will learn that sometimes helping those less fortunate will give you what you need without having to ask anyone for anything. My children will learn the value of receiving a heartfelt thank you and a hug for helping someone without them having to ask. Isn't that what the bible really tries to teach people anyway?
What do we need to go to Church for to learn that? What people really need to start doing is going to a soup kitchen, or visiting the chemo center and sitting with someone getting a treatment and making them smile. Or run an ambulance and watch someone's face light up when they realize that YOU are the best part of their worst day. Get out and build a ramp for someone who can no longer walk up the steps and let them enjoy the warmth of the sun as they get to go outside for the first time in months. Plant a flower garden for someone who can no longer go out and do it. Just be kind.
I mean honestly, would it kill any of you to do any of that? In fact, starting now, my children and I will pick one thing to do every month. One thing that will not benefit us ONE BIT but will teach Child 1 the joy of helping others. I encourage you all to do the same. And to the bible thumpers who spend their free time drinking and acting like idiots, you try it too. I bet you learn a lot more in one day than you did in a month of Sundays.
This isn't preaching. It's simply saying I'm tired of people pretending to be god fearing people and acting like quite the opposite. This is my challenge to prove it. And if you need help getting pointed in the right direction, you call me. I have a ton of really good things to do to show you just what you need to be learning.
And the reason I don't go is a big one. I have a hard time sitting amongst people who are totally 100% devoted to their religion on Sundays, and holidays when people are watching, and all the rest of the days they live as if God is simply a word they use before 'damn'. I even have problems being friends with these people on Facebook and other social media sites.
I simply don't like knowing that you thump your bible in the presence of people who you think care, but behind closed doors you drink and fight and swear and act just like the rest of us. If you lived it 24/7 it would be a different story. Or own up to the fact that you aren't perfect in your faith. Those people who say "I go to church and I try to live right but I still drink and curse", you are honest and real. And we have no issues. No one is perfect.
It's the ones who act perfect I can't stand.
Am I perfect? Absolutely not. I curse, sometimes at people I shouldn't curse at. I gossip, sometimes way more than is healthy. And usually with my two best girl friends. We are horrid to people who have no idea we talk badly about them. I expect people do the same about me. It is what it is. But I own it.
I acknowledge that sometimes I'm a huge ass. I am proud of the fact that I'm an ass. Let's be honest, if I was nice all the time, I wouldn't be funny anymore. I am not always nice to the people who deserve it.
What I am though is real. My mother calls and asks me my opinion, because I call it like I see it. People know not to ask me what I think unless they really want to hear what is in my head. I usually start by asking "Are you SURE you want to hear what I think?" that way they have time to change their mind. Haha. Unless it's family, then you don't even have to ask. I just share.
I also learned that the best way to live is to make a difference for people who have less than you do. I'm not always the best at this. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own drama. But ask any of my family and friends and they will tell you I drag them into these things they hate to do. We have slept outside in the dead of winter in cardboard boxes to raise money for the homeless. We have rescued animals. We have held god knows how many fundraisers for non-profits who need help. We make things to donate to these non-profits. It is what we do.
I remember one Thanksgiving that stuck with me for as long as I can remember. We had a ton of left over food and nothing to do with it. We made a huge batch of soup, gathered blankets and mittens and hats and winter stuff and drove into center city DC. We spent that evening feeding homeless people from our trunk and handing out things to keep people warm. That night was what caused me to become a professional volunteer.
I intend to instill that lesson in my children. I will take them to help people who are less fortunate. I will make them realize that no matter how bad you think your life is, it could be worse. And frankly, I would rather them learn that lesson than sit and pray for things they don't need. The kids who sit and pray for an X-Box or an iPhone aren't really learning any valuable lessons, are they?
My kids will learn that if you pray, God may not always listen. There may be someone else is more desperate need and you will get only what you need, not what you want. My children will learn that sometimes helping those less fortunate will give you what you need without having to ask anyone for anything. My children will learn the value of receiving a heartfelt thank you and a hug for helping someone without them having to ask. Isn't that what the bible really tries to teach people anyway?
What do we need to go to Church for to learn that? What people really need to start doing is going to a soup kitchen, or visiting the chemo center and sitting with someone getting a treatment and making them smile. Or run an ambulance and watch someone's face light up when they realize that YOU are the best part of their worst day. Get out and build a ramp for someone who can no longer walk up the steps and let them enjoy the warmth of the sun as they get to go outside for the first time in months. Plant a flower garden for someone who can no longer go out and do it. Just be kind.
I mean honestly, would it kill any of you to do any of that? In fact, starting now, my children and I will pick one thing to do every month. One thing that will not benefit us ONE BIT but will teach Child 1 the joy of helping others. I encourage you all to do the same. And to the bible thumpers who spend their free time drinking and acting like idiots, you try it too. I bet you learn a lot more in one day than you did in a month of Sundays.
This isn't preaching. It's simply saying I'm tired of people pretending to be god fearing people and acting like quite the opposite. This is my challenge to prove it. And if you need help getting pointed in the right direction, you call me. I have a ton of really good things to do to show you just what you need to be learning.
Monday, March 17, 2014
A lot like Duck Dynasty
I came home from work and Duck Dynasty was on. Around here, we all love Duck Dynasty. We love Big Bang Theory too, but that show just doesn't relate quite like Duck Dynasty in this situation.
Today's episode was a rerun and it was the one where Miss Kay got goats. She needed a goat pen and called Willy. Willy was working and she said he needed to go over and take care of those goats and make a pen. Willy said he couldn't and her answer was a simple one. "Thanks. I love you. Bye." She hung up, and lo and behold, Willy went to do what she needed.
This is where the relatable part comes in. My mother is Miss Kay minus the squirrel cooking. She will need something done. She calls and says what she needs. The ending of the conversation typically goes in this fashion "I'll see you when you get here, honey." and the phone goes dead. She knows we will do it.
Sorry Mom, as I know you are reading this. But it is what it is. We all come to realize that when you ask for something, you aren't really asking. What you do is something that I'm currently working on perfecting. The asking in such a manner that everyone knows it isn't really a question of IF you want to, but WHEN you plan on doing it.
There is no part of me that wants to say no to my parents. As they get older, and I get older, I realize they need help with things. Hell, sometimes I need help with things I wouldn't have needed help with 10 years ago. But sometimes, just sometimes, the option of saying no would be nice. Instead, I act a bit like Willy does. I look at the phone after the hang up occurs, I put my phone in my pocket, shake my head and put on my jacket.
My parents have been unconditionally wonderful to me. They moved my family into their home for 3 months when they really didn't need to. They spend more money than they need to on our children. They give us left overs constantly. They take care of us. I like being able to repay the favor, mostly.
Ok, sometimes. I like doing it sometimes. Other times I do it because I have to. Karma and all that jazz.
The other person a lot like Miss Kay is my grandmother. She's the one who calls when she can't get anything designed after 1991 to work. She has a computer and a tablet and a phone. She needs help with all 3. Thankfully, she calls my mother. Or my Aunt. She never calls me. I'm too much of an ass to help her learn anything new. I can't do it without making fun of her. And she knows this. SO she doesn't ask me. Thanks be to God for that!
Hopefully, my mother never turns into her mother. Hopefully she just continues to call me and say "I'll see you when you get here." I can live with that for the next 30 years or so.
Besides, I always have the option of not answering the phone and pretending I'm taking care of the babies. ( I love you Mom).
Today's episode was a rerun and it was the one where Miss Kay got goats. She needed a goat pen and called Willy. Willy was working and she said he needed to go over and take care of those goats and make a pen. Willy said he couldn't and her answer was a simple one. "Thanks. I love you. Bye." She hung up, and lo and behold, Willy went to do what she needed.
This is where the relatable part comes in. My mother is Miss Kay minus the squirrel cooking. She will need something done. She calls and says what she needs. The ending of the conversation typically goes in this fashion "I'll see you when you get here, honey." and the phone goes dead. She knows we will do it.
Sorry Mom, as I know you are reading this. But it is what it is. We all come to realize that when you ask for something, you aren't really asking. What you do is something that I'm currently working on perfecting. The asking in such a manner that everyone knows it isn't really a question of IF you want to, but WHEN you plan on doing it.
There is no part of me that wants to say no to my parents. As they get older, and I get older, I realize they need help with things. Hell, sometimes I need help with things I wouldn't have needed help with 10 years ago. But sometimes, just sometimes, the option of saying no would be nice. Instead, I act a bit like Willy does. I look at the phone after the hang up occurs, I put my phone in my pocket, shake my head and put on my jacket.
My parents have been unconditionally wonderful to me. They moved my family into their home for 3 months when they really didn't need to. They spend more money than they need to on our children. They give us left overs constantly. They take care of us. I like being able to repay the favor, mostly.
Ok, sometimes. I like doing it sometimes. Other times I do it because I have to. Karma and all that jazz.
The other person a lot like Miss Kay is my grandmother. She's the one who calls when she can't get anything designed after 1991 to work. She has a computer and a tablet and a phone. She needs help with all 3. Thankfully, she calls my mother. Or my Aunt. She never calls me. I'm too much of an ass to help her learn anything new. I can't do it without making fun of her. And she knows this. SO she doesn't ask me. Thanks be to God for that!
Hopefully, my mother never turns into her mother. Hopefully she just continues to call me and say "I'll see you when you get here." I can live with that for the next 30 years or so.
Besides, I always have the option of not answering the phone and pretending I'm taking care of the babies. ( I love you Mom).
Shopping
I remember being able to go to the store, spend a little bit of money and come home with everything I needed. It was roughly 6 years ago. Since the day I found out I was pregnant with Child 1, everything costs soooooo much money.
Yesterday, we went to the dreaded Wal-Mart. We were attempting to replace the bouncer-turned-child-entrapment-toy. We looked at every option they had. The option we chose was $20 and is a bouncer chair that hangs from the doorway. Child 2 despises it. Of course he would. Why on earth would a child like the cheapest option? Our other choice, an $89 bouncer chair contraption thing.
For $89, I would expect the thing to change Child 2's diapers. Or make some bottles or something. That's a damn lot of money.
We still haven't purchased the expensive one. We still have the bouncing chair hanging in our doorway. I keep hoping I'll put him in it and all of a sudden he will LOVE IT! It's certainly not going to happen. In my heart I know, I have children who have expensive taste. I, however, do not have a fat wallet.
Child 1 always wants the most expensive toys. You know those toys you see on Nick Jr or Disney channel. The $100 Lego set (which of course Daddy wants too), the $40 action figures, the toys you can only order online because no one on earth would spend that much money on a toy in a damn store stuff. This is what I have to work with.
Will Child 1 be happy with a dollar store toy? Sure. As long as he doesn't see those damn commercials. Will Child 2 ever be happy with this $20 bouncer. Hell no.
I think to be able to afford what they want when they are teenagers I'll have to sell kidneys or lungs. Or kill Daddy for the insurance money (KIDDING, even though you do have an enormous life insurance policy.....).
I thought about starting a college fund for the boys. But the more I think about it, the more I think I need to start a fund for the electronics that they will want here shortly.
Or I need to go work for Best Buy so I can get a discount.
Yesterday, we went to the dreaded Wal-Mart. We were attempting to replace the bouncer-turned-child-entrapment-toy. We looked at every option they had. The option we chose was $20 and is a bouncer chair that hangs from the doorway. Child 2 despises it. Of course he would. Why on earth would a child like the cheapest option? Our other choice, an $89 bouncer chair contraption thing.
For $89, I would expect the thing to change Child 2's diapers. Or make some bottles or something. That's a damn lot of money.
We still haven't purchased the expensive one. We still have the bouncing chair hanging in our doorway. I keep hoping I'll put him in it and all of a sudden he will LOVE IT! It's certainly not going to happen. In my heart I know, I have children who have expensive taste. I, however, do not have a fat wallet.
Child 1 always wants the most expensive toys. You know those toys you see on Nick Jr or Disney channel. The $100 Lego set (which of course Daddy wants too), the $40 action figures, the toys you can only order online because no one on earth would spend that much money on a toy in a damn store stuff. This is what I have to work with.
Will Child 1 be happy with a dollar store toy? Sure. As long as he doesn't see those damn commercials. Will Child 2 ever be happy with this $20 bouncer. Hell no.
I think to be able to afford what they want when they are teenagers I'll have to sell kidneys or lungs. Or kill Daddy for the insurance money (KIDDING, even though you do have an enormous life insurance policy.....).
I thought about starting a college fund for the boys. But the more I think about it, the more I think I need to start a fund for the electronics that they will want here shortly.
Or I need to go work for Best Buy so I can get a discount.
Sunday, March 16, 2014
What a Letdown
I try not to be overly critical of things. I try. That does not mean I excel at it. Hell, half the time I'm barely even passable. But there are some things that I just simply lose my shit about. Yesterday, I had two of those such times.
Child 1 has a TSS that goes to school with him. Her job is to keep him focused. I know, sounds silly, but Child 1 wanders. Mentally and physically. If Child 1 is bored with the task at hand, he will go find something else to do. Drives the teachers absolutely bat shit crazy. They also aren't a huge fan of me telling them to find something more challenging for him to do. "BUT IT'S PRESCHOOL..." It sure it. And my kid is bored. Figure it out, or go get a job slinging Slurpees at 7-11.
Said TSS has decided she is going away for a few days. I get a message on a Saturday afternoon that they want me to keep my kid home ALL NEXT WEEK! Now, let's discuss. He apparently needs socialization and schedules. But we can just not send him for a week and expect nothing bad to happen? Sure, I'll keep him home all week. But when I send him back in 10 days, hold onto your ass, sister. He will be a whirling dervish of ignorance.
Instead, I finally stuck up for my kid against this insanity. I told them if they couldn't find someone to go to school with him, I would find another agency who COULD. A 5 minute voicemail to someone where I let loose on my agitation and low and behold, Child 1 will be attending school all week with a substitute TSS. Way to go, me! I have simply gotten to the end of my proverbial rope.
Now, listen, I was really hoping for a good old fashioned war though. I really wanted these people to know how irritated I am. I wanted to really let them have it. Instead, one well placed threat and it's done. I guess I should be happy it was handled, but I was really hoping. And I was mildly let down that I didn't get to flip the hell out over it. Weird huh?
And Comcast. Oh, I hate Comcast. Dad happened to call to get our bill lowered and got a bunch of stuff moved around and handled without me. Now usually I would be in heaven. He paid a bunch of other bills yesterday, and I was tickled pink that it was just done. But Comcast, oh I love to yell at them.
I. LOVE. TO. YELL. AT. THEM. ALOT.
Dad had the entire conversation without raising his voice. How he did that I will never know. I can barely get out my account number without a curse word.
The entire day was slightly disappointing. I was really ramped up to rip someone's head off and it didn't happen. Does that make me a horrible person? Absolutely. But I've gotten to the point that I have a philosophy in life, and I stick to it.
I'm already going to hell. At this point it's simply GO BIG or GO HOME!
Child 1 has a TSS that goes to school with him. Her job is to keep him focused. I know, sounds silly, but Child 1 wanders. Mentally and physically. If Child 1 is bored with the task at hand, he will go find something else to do. Drives the teachers absolutely bat shit crazy. They also aren't a huge fan of me telling them to find something more challenging for him to do. "BUT IT'S PRESCHOOL..." It sure it. And my kid is bored. Figure it out, or go get a job slinging Slurpees at 7-11.
Said TSS has decided she is going away for a few days. I get a message on a Saturday afternoon that they want me to keep my kid home ALL NEXT WEEK! Now, let's discuss. He apparently needs socialization and schedules. But we can just not send him for a week and expect nothing bad to happen? Sure, I'll keep him home all week. But when I send him back in 10 days, hold onto your ass, sister. He will be a whirling dervish of ignorance.
Instead, I finally stuck up for my kid against this insanity. I told them if they couldn't find someone to go to school with him, I would find another agency who COULD. A 5 minute voicemail to someone where I let loose on my agitation and low and behold, Child 1 will be attending school all week with a substitute TSS. Way to go, me! I have simply gotten to the end of my proverbial rope.
Now, listen, I was really hoping for a good old fashioned war though. I really wanted these people to know how irritated I am. I wanted to really let them have it. Instead, one well placed threat and it's done. I guess I should be happy it was handled, but I was really hoping. And I was mildly let down that I didn't get to flip the hell out over it. Weird huh?
And Comcast. Oh, I hate Comcast. Dad happened to call to get our bill lowered and got a bunch of stuff moved around and handled without me. Now usually I would be in heaven. He paid a bunch of other bills yesterday, and I was tickled pink that it was just done. But Comcast, oh I love to yell at them.
I. LOVE. TO. YELL. AT. THEM. ALOT.
Dad had the entire conversation without raising his voice. How he did that I will never know. I can barely get out my account number without a curse word.
The entire day was slightly disappointing. I was really ramped up to rip someone's head off and it didn't happen. Does that make me a horrible person? Absolutely. But I've gotten to the point that I have a philosophy in life, and I stick to it.
I'm already going to hell. At this point it's simply GO BIG or GO HOME!
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