Life isn't always funny, but it's always entertaining. Make sense? Not really, huh?
There's a difference between funny and entertaining. Funny is downright-laugh-out-loud-share-the-story-with-all-your-friends-good-times-ness. Entertaining is occasionally-hanging-your-head-in-shame-but-still-sharing-the-story-anyway-while-chuckling-ness.
I live in the entertaining portion of life. Not much that happens is funny. I mean, sure, it's funny as hell to you people. But not so funny to me. I am sometimes ashamed by what occurs around me. Most of these stories come from my children. They shame me. I am technically ashamed sometimes to be their mother.
This usually occurs when my children say something downright horrible that I have no explanation for. Like yesterday, my son said something completely horrible about someone's appearance. Thank god he didn't say it TO them. Just quietly about them to my mother.
Still a bad plan. Still have to teach him that there is no occasion when this kind of behavior is ok. If it's ok to say it behind people's backs today, then he will probably say it out loud tomorrow or next week. Plain and simple, my child is an ass. An ass. Unintentionally of course but still an ass.
I was embarrassed. But I also laughed when my mother told me what was said. NOT BECAUSE I FOUND HUMOR IN WHAT HE SAID! I laughed because this is what my life has been reduced to. My life has become a daily job of explaining things I shouldn't have to explain. I know all parents have to tell their kids things, because they just don't know.
But I am not a fan of explaining when it's ok to touch your hoo-hoo and when it's not. (Good-bathtub Bad-preschool). I'm not a fan of explaining when it's ok to tackle people (Good-wrestling with Daddy Bad-preschool). I'm not a fan of explaining when it's ok to dig at your ass (Good-never Bad-always).
I feel like when it's something non-embarrassing, Child 1 seems to know when and where to do things. When it's something that causes me to want to crawl into a hole and die, he does it at all the wrong times.
Eventually, we will perfect that look, the one that says "Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW because it's embarrassing or I will start singing and dancing and make you want to die!".
Right now, I just have a whole bunch of explaining to do. And laughing. Because in a house like mine, if you don't laugh, your head will explode.
P.S. Daddy actually made dinner last night, which is part of the reason I was able to laugh about this. I had nothing else to worry about at that moment. So kudos Daddy for being on top of things yesterday.