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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Oh Play-Doh......

I haven't been around much this week. I mean, in theory I haven't really left my house, but I've been away from social media. Ok, I facebook a lot. I haven't blogged. Nothing funny has happened. Nothing disastrous has happened. And I'm really far behind on my credits I need to keep my license. And I was working on a blanket.

On paper, I look like I actually have a life!

Tonight, as with every Thursday night, I had to work. I only worked until 9pm. But that meant Daddy was in charge of bedtimes. Normally, Daddy rocks at bedtime. I come home after work and everyone is peacefully sleeping, and Daddy is playing PlayStation. Tonight, this was NOT what happened.

I returned home to find the baby sleeping. Which is amazing because for someone who is supposed to spend a minimum of 12 hours asleep a day, the little shit never sleeps. Like ever. He is way worse than Child 1, and I believe is the reason I have these funky new eye wrinkles. My eyes don't spend enough time closed.

Child 1, however, was still awake. And eerily quiet. So quiet that I thought Daddy had done a bang up job of putting the children to bed. Until Daddy went up to the bathroom. That's when we found what I shall refer to as "IT".

"IT" is an empty play-doh container. Which was full before bedtime. "IT" is a 5 year old with strange blue lips, blue tongue and blue hands. "IT" is a 5 year old carefully explaining how he thought he might have been hungry, so he ate the play-doh. "IT" is also the reason I'm betting on having a weekend filled with laxatives and play dates in the bathroom. Play-doh, from what I can tell, doesn't digest well.

It's a wonder I have managed to keep these children alive as long as I have. I certainly hope they make play-doh with the thought in mind that children will eat large amounts of it. I already had to call poison control for me once this year, if I have to call again, they may send someone out to check on the well-being of my children.

For the record, Child 1 is now peacefully sleeping as well. At least until he wakes me up to tell me his stomach hurts....