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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Bonus Post for hiting 1,000 page views!

So you guys did it! You have read my blog over a thousand times! I won't lie, I didn't expect that. I'm still not sure I believe it. Guess I need to set my standards higher next time. Here's to 5,000!

In my house, I always set my standards too high. Which is funny considering my standards for many other things are so low. I'm afraid I am a perfectionist and I may force it onto other people.

Which brings me to my bonus post.

MOM VERSUS DAD

It's bathtime. Child 1 despises his hair washed, like he acts as if I'm chopping off body parts. Who does Child 1 want to do bathtime? Mommy.

It's mealtime. Child 1 is the pickiest eater this side of the Mississippi. I'm willing to vote in all of North America, but I have more research to do. He eats like 5 foods. Who does he want to get his plate ready? Mommy. (Mommy knows what to put more and less of. HA)

It's time to get dressed in the morning. Child 1 prefers to be naked. Child 1 would even be naked outside in -12 degree weather if we let him. Who does he want to get him ready in the morning? Mommy.

It's time to pick a TV channel to watch for a bit after lunch. Child 1 hates watching "real people shows". Who does he want to pick the channel? Mommy. Because Mommy also loves a good animated movie, and will continue to watch them well after Child 1 loses interest.

It's time to play. And play is rough in this house. Who does Child 1 want to play with? Mommy. Mommy can play the same game for an hour before she needs a break. And that to a child who is obsessed with a game is like heaven.

It's bedtime. Child 1 apparently is unable to sleep unless someone is touching him. Who does he want to lay down with him? Mommy. Mommy's are apparently the best snugglers.

Mommy went to smoke a cigarette, or went pee without informing the house. Or even walked to the kitchen to check on dinner. Who does Child 1 want to ask questions to? Mommy. And if he can't find mommy? He will turn to Daddy and ask "Do you know where Mommy is?"

This is the order of preference in my house. I know that kids love Mommy's. Especially Mommy's who are home so much. Child 2 is very small still and everything revolves around Mommy. Daddy is only a good option if Mommy is physically out of the house and is not coming back anytime soon.

Do you know what Mommy likes? Quiet sometimes. Just once. For a little while. I want to watch a TV show in peace and quiet while Daddy cuddles children. I want to pee without someone coming to tell me about Transformers or Rescue Bots or Doc McStuffins. I want to cook dinner without having to explain the process of everything I am doing.

I want to be Daddy for a day. I want to be the one that Child 1 looks at with disdain while I offer to help with something. I want him to want the other parent. I want to, for once, feel left out. Most parents wouldn't dare admit it. But I look forward to the day that these boys decide that girls suck and they want to spend all their time with Daddy.

On that day, I intend to go get my hair done and get a massage. Without having to hear anyone say Mommy. And then I'm going to drink 75 gallons of water and pee as much as I want without someone watching, or yelling through the door. And then I'm going to lay down alone in my own bed and nap. Alone. Without anyone touching me.

And this will happen in roughly 15 years. I'm really looking forward to that day......