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Monday, March 17, 2014


I remember being able to go to the store, spend a little bit of money and come home with everything I needed. It was roughly 6 years ago. Since the day I found out I was pregnant with Child 1, everything costs soooooo much money.

Yesterday, we went to the dreaded Wal-Mart. We were attempting to replace the bouncer-turned-child-entrapment-toy. We looked at every option they had. The option we chose was $20 and is a bouncer chair that hangs from the doorway. Child 2 despises it. Of course he would. Why on earth would a child like the cheapest option? Our other choice, an $89 bouncer chair contraption thing.

For $89, I would expect the thing to change Child 2's diapers. Or make some bottles or something. That's a damn lot of money.

We still haven't purchased the expensive one. We still have the bouncing chair hanging in our doorway. I keep hoping I'll put him in it and all of a sudden he will LOVE IT! It's certainly not going to happen. In my heart I know, I have children who have expensive taste. I, however, do not have a fat wallet.

Child 1 always wants the most expensive toys. You know those toys you see on Nick Jr or Disney channel. The $100 Lego set (which of course Daddy wants too), the $40 action figures, the toys you can only order online because no one on earth would spend that much money on a toy in a damn store stuff. This is what I have to work with.

Will Child 1 be happy with a dollar store toy? Sure. As long as he doesn't see those damn commercials. Will Child 2 ever be happy with this $20 bouncer. Hell no.

I think to be able to afford what they want when they are teenagers I'll have to sell kidneys or lungs.  Or kill Daddy for the insurance money (KIDDING, even though you do have an enormous life insurance policy.....).

I thought about starting a college fund for the boys. But the more I think about it, the more I think I need to start a fund for the electronics that they will want here shortly.

Or I need to go work for Best Buy so I can get a discount.