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Tuesday, March 11, 2014


The common cold has invaded my household. Child 1 brought it home from preschool I believe. Child 2 caught it from him. Then they gave it to me. They never give it to Daddy. Either he has the immune system of a GOD or they spend too much time with me.

What starts as a common cold in a preschooler mutates in some awful way. Something about small children turns illnesses into a people killing epidemic by the time it infects adults. And I have two children sharing it with me. Lovely.

Child 1 had a fever, some nosebleeds from the congestion and lots of snot. Child 2 had more snot that a body his size should safely be able to produce. I must stop giving him so much liquid. Or stop touching him when he is sick. What do I have you ask? A hybrid version of bronchitis-pneumonia-black plaque-ebola-salmonella-itis.

I am miserable.

I am good standing up. I am good sitting down. I am good laying down. Moving myself from any of these positions to any of these other positions is where the problem lies. I instantaneously feel as if my brain is attempting a brutal escape from my left temple. I fear by the end of the night it will succeed.

My family will find me in the morning. Dead. On the floor. My brain oozing out of what used to be my skull. THAT is what my children gave me.

Did I mention that both of them feel utterly delightful now? Their sicknesses lasted a total of 17 hours. I am well into hour 36 and only getting worse. Apparently, Daddy does have the immune system of a god, and shared it with my children.

So, I made food for "lunch" that I can not taste but need to eat anyway. So I don't die of starvation before the cold explodes my skull. My mouth has the texture of the Sahara, even after drinking 2 glasses of water and a huge glass of juice. Loud noises hurt my head. And coincidentally Transformers is on TV and Child 1 will burst into flames and die if he can't watch it.

If you, my friends, don't see anything posted for the next few days, it's because my bp2esitis (my new name for this wicked cold) has killed me.

I'll have to make sure Daddy knows how to log onto here and tell you all where the funeral will be held......